I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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