Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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