You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
