i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
