whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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