Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
