Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Still dying that you shit outside
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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