i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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