no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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