All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize