you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
