His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize