Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize