That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
