I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
