2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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