Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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