I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
