That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
