Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
