he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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