So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
