In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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