i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
