summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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