i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
either way he was missing a nipple.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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