There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
