Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
