goodnight i made you a song goodbye
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
