why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
