she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
