I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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