I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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