so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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