sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
