i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
