Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
