No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
