This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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