Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
