Whod you bang
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
