talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
