In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
