so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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