People in love make me want to vomit
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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