I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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