Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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