i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize