I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
