I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize