with your own penis?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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