5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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