porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
