Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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