He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
