I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize