i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
please don't ironically join a cult
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