I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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