At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
