Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
